Monkey rocker: stupid name, amazing in all other ways


[Video was deleted]

While writing another GSB post over the weekend, I submitted a search query for “horse dildo.” I was looking for a website I’d once seen that sold silicone dildos in the shape of horse cocks (you’ll understand why when you read the post later this week) but I got distracted from my writing when I found the video clip above.

It’s apparently called a Monkey Rocker and I want one. Preferably as my computer chair, but I’d take one for the living room in maple or dark cherry. Sadly, they’re quite expensive. 700 bucks for a mass-produced looking one in black, or 2-3k for something like what you see in the video. Function over form, I know, but the basic one seems so sterile.

I linked the clip to law student guy (and told him he should buy me one when he’s a rich and soulless lawyer). He sent me back this clip from the film Burn After Reading. I haven’t seen it, but the lines from George Clooney echo how I feel exactly. 700 bucks? Pft, I could make that for less than $100… If I had the tools anyway. I haven’t been in a wood shop since I did theater in high school so it’s a bit out of the question these days. Damn.

Coincidentally though, my bank asked me if I’d like to open a savings account for the first time over the weekend, even though I’ve been banking with them since I was 16. Maybe this is a sign I should start saving up for one? I did use my first debit card from this very same bank to buy my first vibrator…

This would be sooo awesome while playing League of Legends or WoW. Marie makes whining “I want it” noises.

Posted in Toys, products, etc.
5 comments on “Monkey rocker: stupid name, amazing in all other ways
  1. Darmass says:

    That is some interesting machinery.

    After seeing this I couldn’t stop thinking about a new invention.

    It’s basically the some only that it’s for men and the difference is that there is some kind of Artificial Vagina sliding over the cock….

  2. danny says:

    in high school i wanted to invent a bike that as you pedaled (did i spell that right?) fucked you back. For the ladies.

    Years later I saw the damn thing in a porn. Stole my idea :(

    ANYWAY. The real reason I wanted to post… I didn’t realize you played League :) What is your summoner name?