The adventure of girl and dildo, prologue

I’ve always been curious about dildos.

In my younger and more culturally conditioned years, I was intrigued by their existence but didn’t care much for the look of them. I would think to myself, “Why would anyone want a floppy, dismembered penis for a sex toy?” The aesthetic of the silicone vibrator had so much more appeal to me, with its sleek, modern designs and rainbow of color options. Some of them looked more like art than sex toys, while others were girly and cute. (This same quality offered some discreteness as well, which was ideal when I was living at home in high school.)

Years later, when my sexual curiosity developed into actual sexual desire, I came to understand why a person would want a sex toy to look like a real cock. The sight of a hard cock had become more than just arousing, it was alluring — stirring up feelings, sounds, and tastes I now craved…

Still, I held to the idea that dildos were inferior to vibrators. After all, there wasn’t much difference between them, and wasn’t a dildo just a vibrator missing its vibration function? Oh, how little I knew…

I don’t know exactly what compelled me to want a dildo. Perhaps it was the discovered aesthetic appeal, or simple curiosity. Maybe it was the 50% off coupon I had from listening to the Savage Love podcast, or just that I wasn’t getting out enough for a good pounding since starting a full-time job. (Honestly, it was probably all of those things together, but I feel there should have been one clear and pivotal moment where it all came together and broke me.) Whatever it was, I decided one day that I wanted one.

And so began the process of trying to find the perfect dildo.

First I had to narrow down my options a bit, as there are thousands of dildos to choose from if you go in with no search criteria. Did you know you can actually get a dildo shaped like a tentacle or a horse’s cock? Then, depending on the material you pick, the color options can be endless. Flesh tones, purples, blues, whatever you want really. Head to one website and you can get a glass rod that looks more like a lollipop than a dildo (but is in fact, a dildo) while another site sells carved or lathed wooden dildos.

Despite the appeal of a tentacle dildo, I knew from the start that I wanted a realistic dildo. But this criteria still left me with hundreds of potential dildos to choose from, so I had to narrow it down further. Did I want my dildo to have balls, or just a shaft? What about a suction cup base? Harness adaptable? Double ended? Then there was the size to think about. I took a tape measurer to every toy I owned, and even mailed one to a friend from college to get him to measure what I considered a nearly perfect cock.

Material was another consideration. The most common options were silicone, jelly, hard plastic, and cyberskin. Some light research revealed the plusses and minuses of each option. Silicone was the safest for my health, chemically, but I knew from using my vibrators that it had the tendency to dry me out and uncomfortably tug at my insides. Hard plastic was the opposite; it would glide in and out of my wet pussy with ease but at the cost of being terribly rigid. Jelly and cyberskin were advised against for their chemical content, but had the most desirable consistency and texture… Cyberskin was supposed to feel as close to the real thing as possible, but required very specific care and storage to be used safely.

Eventually I settled on one, but got stuck on one final decision: the color. The majority of realistic dildos only come in two color options, caucasian or black, and I felt awkward picking between the two colors. Most of my partners have been white, but it’s never been something I was particularly choosy about. Being forced to pick didn’t seem right. Would my next black partner feel like I didn’t like him as much if he found a white dildo hanging out in my bedside drawer? If I picked a black one, would a white partner feel inadequate when he saw it, or say something obnoxiously racist?

In the end I decided on a 10″ Cyberskin dildo in caucasian, with balls and a suction cup base. Okay… Yeah, I know, it’s fucking monstrous, but I swear there was good logic behind it! See, I was after the perfect girth, and this one was listed on the website as 1.6″ in diameter. I’ve mentioned before that I think the perfect cock is about 1.5″ in diameter and 5″ to 6.5″ long; so while the length was almost double of what I needed (after all, a pussy is only so deep) the girth was spot on to my aforementioned friend’s perfect cock.

At least, it was supposed to be. When opening the box for the first time I was completely taken back by what I saw… Somehow I had purchased the biggest sex toy I had ever seen. It was daunting, awesome really. Wrenching it out of its horrible plastic packaging (that same shit they package miscellaneous electronics in) I turned it over in my hands a few times. It really was huge, but it felt amazingly soft to the touch. It didn’t really have the texture of skin, but it had the right density and squish when you gripped it around the shaft.

I knew then though that the measurements had to be off. This thing in no way resembled my friend’s cock — I’d given him plenty of hand jobs to know. Using my measuring tape, I started comparing the dildo’s measurements to the ones on the site. Almost every single one was off, but the most upsetting one was the girth… It was closer to 1.75″ than 1.5″.

After staring at it a moment, I wondered, “Will this even fit inside me?”

There was only one way to find out.

Posted in Marie's stories
5 comments on “The adventure of girl and dildo, prologue
  1. Anonymous says:

    Have you ever tried glass?

    My wife recently bought one and thinks it’s the best thing available – it’s smooth, very hard, you can play with temperatures since it heats/cools so easy, and it’s really simple to clean.

    • Marie says:

      I haven’t. None of them have ever really caught my eye and made me think, “I’ve got to have that.” I think my next toy purchase is going to be one of those wand vibrators.

  2. Darmass says:

    Get a knive and carve a bit off xD

  3. Niels says:

    Hi Marie, thank’s for the part about the “perfect cock” :D
    So I’m close to perfect, nice to know… love this blog btw.
    Keep up your nerdy and dirty mind!

  4. Crooked says:

    This is where women got a huge advantage. Almost unlimited choices, how’s that for sexual equality?

    Hoping to comfort you a little bit: up to 1.8″ by 8.5″ will probably fit nicely, if properly lubricated and applied gently. I’ve been told it feels really good too.

    Nice blogging by the way, easy and enjoyable to read and one might learn a thing or two as well.