A strange coincidence of pandas

It was a sunny afternoon in early July when I logged in to BoundGangbangs on a whim. I wasn’t especially horny at the time, but it had been over 3 weeks since I’d logged into the site (distracted irl by cute law student) and I felt guilty for letting my subscription go to waste.

When the site loaded I was greeted by pandas. Pandas fucking a girl.

I didn’t really know how to feel about it at the time, and honestly still don’t. It wasn’t that surprising (once you’ve seen pterodactyl porn, nothing is) but I didn’t find it especially hot either. I tried my best to get off to it, but all I could manage was some half-hearted masturbation while I skimmed through the video. It’s probably more up the alley of someone like lovingslut, a tumblr blogger who likes to wear animal tail butt plugs and has a video of herself fucking a giant teddy bear. I bet she’d like it.

Anyway, a few hours later I was scrolling through my Facebook feed when I saw something that made my jaw drop. It was Teemo… Teemo in a fucking panda suit. I couldn’t believe it. Apparently this was one of the latest skins in League of Legends, and by some crazy coincidence I had found myself looking at it just hours after watching the BoundGangbangs shoot.

And I don’t know why but combining the two made me really wet. Suddenly my mind was painting the seedy sexual underbelly of the League of Legends; I imagined Riven the Exile getting pushed in her lane by panda Teemo, then being forced onto her knees and mercilessly face fucked after she lost her tower. While she choked on his furry yordle cock, I thought of the minions — Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it’s absolutely ridiculous, but that’s what my brain does sometimes. I can’t help it!

Posted in Marie's stories

The problem with writing a sex blog

There is a sort of logistical problem with me writing a sex blog. Sure, I love doing it and I do feel I’m particularly well-equipped for tackling the subject matter, but it’s very hard to actually finish posts when everything I write eventually sabotages itself. Here is my typical writing process for Geeky Sex Blog posts.

1. Think of an idea for a post.
2. Start writing idea into a post.
3. Get horny while writing said post.
4. Become increasingly distracted by horniness.
5. Give in and masturbate.
6. Start writing again.
7. Get tired.
8. Take nap.

So every time I go to write a blog entry I’m racing against my own sex drive and the inevitable urge to masturbate. To make matters worse, I’m one of those writers who can’t just pick up where she left off last — I always have to go back and rework the whole thing before I can add to it again. The result of this is that I have nearly two dozen, half written drafts in a folder on my desktop and a blog that doesn’t get updated for months at a time.

I’ve tried inventing a solution for this problem, but so far I’ve only had one idea and it’s not easily implemented. It involves getting one of those BDSM chastity belts to deny myself access to my own pussy, locking myself up in it, then handing the key off to someone with the self-discipline to not unlock me until I can produce a finished draft. If the draft is approved, the key holder could unlock me, and then, ideally, fuck my brains out.

[Geeky Sex Blog is currently accepting applications for a kinky copy editor.]

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Posted in Thoughts and rants

Thank you, Reddit.

I didn’t have time to finish writing up a second post for this last week so I thought I’d at least link some sci-fi themed, 3-D animated porn I saw on Reddit today.

The basic premise is a sex robot, or maybe a sex cyborg, fucks a sort of unwilling (though not for long) human with a really bad voice actor. It didn’t turn out to be something I got off to, but it certainly kept me watching. I don’t know if it’s true for every geek, but I think robot sex is very appealing to the imagination. There’s just so many directions you can go with it (like a vaginal tractor beam!) that it’s hard to not watch out of curiosity. Maybe I should make robot sex a theme for one of my future erotica stories? We’ll see.

Anyway, enjoy!

Posted in Porn video reviews

I officially hate smart phones

I went across town to visit my mother this past weekend. We got lunch at one of our favorite restaurants then headed to the house because she wanted me to help her download some games onto her iPhone. While I was doing that, I noticed her front screen was cluttered with a bunch of preloaded apps that I knew she’d never use; so I asked her if she’d like me to clean up the phone a little. She said yes, so I set to it.

This is when things went bad… I was just rearranging the order of some icons when I accidentally opened up the app my mother uses to send text messages. Displayed at the very top of the screen was the last text she’d sent from a few days before, to my dad, and was a fairly brief message about how my mother was really wet and that she couldn’t wait for my dad’s tongue.

Oh… my… god. I closed the app, cradled the now gaping wound in my mind, and quickly finished the task at hand. My eyes also attempted to commit seppuku, while my childhood innocence fell into a deep, deep coma.

In the aftermath of my trauma, I’ve assessed the incident and I think what actually bothers me most is how awfully unsexy it was. I can deal with my parents having oral sex, in fact I’m happy they’re still fucking at all, but how can they both be in their 50s and have no standards for talking dirty? Like really, who the fuck says “waiting for your tongue” and thinks that sounds good? My mother apparently, and I guess my father too if he’s dealt with that for the past 3 years that my mom’s been texting.

I’m blaming this on that goddamn vanilla porn they watch. Good god…

Posted in Marie's stories

Incest is hot

Maybe it’s because the second season of Game of Thrones just started last week, but a few days ago I had two separate conversations online in which incest came up within 5 minutes of each other… I initiated neither of them, mind you.

The first conversation was about the sheer amount of sex in the Game of Thrones television show. I haven’t read the books or watched the show yet myself, but I joined in on the conversation with the little knowledge I had. As the talk progressed, my friend linked me this picture and explained the relevance. (If you don’t get it, apparently there is some incest in the show. If you still don’t get it, you’re not a big enough nerd.)

Not 5 minutes later, another friend mentioned that he’d recently browsed a list of the most read stories of all time on Literotica.com. Going through it, it turns out 75% of the stories in the top 50 are about incest, which makes me wonder… Do the majority of people find incest hot as a fetish, or is it just Literotica readers? Or does it just happen to be that the best writers at Literotica like incest and write about incest? (Face it, most of the stuff on there is unreadable crap.)

Both conversations made me think about what my own views on incest fetishism were. Personally, I think it’s hot, but only under certain circumstances. I know for a fact that I’ve never actively gone looking for incest erotica or porn, but on the occasion that I’ve stumbled upon it I was always able to come to it. Admittedly, I’d say it’s light on my long list of taboo fetishes, as I really only enjoy it in an abstract way (i.e. I don’t actually think about fucking my real brother or my real father, rather I think about fucking a conceptual brother or father, like this) and after I’ve come, the idea almost instantly loses all appeal and evaporates from my mind. I wonder if its the same way for the fans of those stories on Literotica, or different?

The thing that grabs me most about incest scenarios though, is that they tend to be more complex because a forbidden relationship exists between the characters that has to be established to the reader. Maybe that means the author ends up putting more time into the story, which for me is a plus. I watch a lot of porn at BoundGangBangs.com, and often I can come before the girl has even been penetrated because I like the setup of the scene so much. That building up is what appeals to me about that kind of porn.

Anyway, I thought I’d bring this all up because I’ve been wanting to make a little announcement. I’ve been thinking for a while now that I should try my hand at writing erotica. Believe it or not, I’ve never done it, yet I think it’s something I might be quite good at and want to explore. Up until now I’ve had three different scenarios in my head that I wanted to write, and since one of them involves incest, I’ve decided that that will be the first one I write. Right now I’ve set my completion date for the end of April, and when it’s done I’ll be sure to link it here. Wish me luck.

Posted in Thoughts and rants

The ways guys have orgasms

Of all the guys I’ve had sex with, I can group them into three types.

Type 1 Will fuck you for 1-5 minutes, have an orgasm, then be ready to go again almost immediately after. When he begins again, his cock will not be as hard as it was earlier, but he’ll be able to fuck for quite a long time after, between 30 minutes to an hour. Most common.

Type 2 Will fuck you for a good 10-20 minutes with a rock hard cock, have an orgasm, then be ready for a nap. Hard for him to get it up a second time without resting a while. Less common.

Type 3 Will fuck you for 1-5 minutes, have an orgasm, and then not be able to get it back up again. Usually this guy is nervous, a first timer, someone who hasn’t had sex in a while, someone who is thinking about an ex, or not that attracted to you. Least common.

Type 1 is the most common in my experience, and though I think most women say they prefer sex to last a long time, I really prefer type 2 guys because their cocks are usually harder for the majority of the time they’re fucking me. Type 1s are good for blow jobs though, since they’ll still be good to go if you make them orgasm from oral. Typically if you make a type 2 orgasm from oral, you’re giving up your chance at a good fucking… Granted, most type 2 guys I encounter do stop me short of them blowing their load on my face and fuck me for a bit before coming. I suspect this is done as a courtesy of some sort, so I can at least get a bit of penetration in before they come.

Type 1 guys, as a side note, are the most likely to complain about using condoms, since they have to swap to a new one almost as soon as they’ve started, and have a harder time getting a second one on if they’re a little soft.

So the reason I wrote this all up is because I’m really quite curious about it. Is there any conscious thing that causes these distinctions? Can you guys switch from one type to another, based on the person you’re with, or do you always fall in the same category? Has it changed, maybe with time, age, or experience? Something else? (I’ve never fucked anyone over 30, so my pool of guys is a bit limited.) If you don’t fall into any of these categories, how would you describe your orgasm style? Leave me a comment! I want to know more!

[poll id=”3″]

[Edit: I should note that you don’t have to register in my comment system with a valid email to comment, so commenting can be as anonymous as you want it to be. Whatever email you put in, fake or otherwise, just stores you as a user on the site so you’re approved to comment under that name without me individually approving each comment… something I do to prevent comment spam advertising.]

Posted in Thoughts and rants

101 ways to say no to sex

I was at the doctor yesterday for my 6 week follow up exam after having my IUD put in. Typically when I’m there I always go to the same exam room, but when I arrived I found out they’d lost my appointment. The exam is only supposed to take a couple minutes though, so they squeezed me in between a few other patients. I still got to see the same doctor and nurses I always see, but because of the scheduling mishap they ended up putting me in a different exam room on the other side of the office that I’d never been in before. This particular room can only be described as the “sexually active teenage girl” room, because the walls were plastered with posters about STDs, pregnancy, and eating disorders. They were all of that educational quality that you’d find in your high school guidance counselor’s office, with colorful text and really dated messages.

The one that stood out the most to me was titled “101 ways to say no to sex” and as you’d expect, listed ways for a young girl to say “no” to the pressures of sex from a male friend or boyfriend. Most of them were standard ones I’m used to hearing, like “I’ve decided to wait” or “I’m not ready,” but there were a few that were flat out bizarre, like “I’m allergic to sex” and “my favorite show’s on now.” The absolute winner was this gem: “I just got my hair done.”

WTF? Seriously? I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I understand there is a lot of unwanted pressure on young girls to have sex, especially from older guys, but really? “I just got my hair done?” After a quick internet search, I found a copy of the list online with an introduction that explained these “reasons” were collected from actual students… Okay, fine, I guess that explains a lot.

Marie puts on her serious glasses. I really wonder though, where is the editorial overhead on this? Why didn’t some intelligent adult look at this list and say “let’s tweak this a bit before it goes to print.” As it stands, they’ve basically published a poster that at times encourages women to evade sex through lame excuses, rather than firm communication. The problem with sex education (and culture in general) right now is that most girls are only taught how to say “no” to violent sexual assault. Sex ed implies that any sex a girl doesn’t want is something she should say “no” to, but when non-violent rape and sexual coercion comes from lovers, friends, or family, the lines of wanted and unwanted get really blurred. The statistics are quite depressing in that regard, stating that only about 34% of girls “really wanted it to happen” when they lost their virginity. 53% felt conflicted, and 13% didn’t want it to happen at all. 61% of guys, on the other hand, really wanted to lose their virginity. (I didn’t research how these stats were taken, so the validity of them can certainly be off, but they’re from the US Department of Health and Human Services if you’re curious.) Overall, the education for both sexes needs to change so women and men can have happier sex. Women don’t want to feel like they’ve been raped or coerced, and the average guy does not want to find out down the road that his partners were unwilling. (I highly recommend reading The Accidental Rapist, an article that talks about how guys are somewhat trained to think anything that isn’t a “no” is a green light.)

Marie takes off her glasses. That said, I’ll be the first to admit that I have told guys they can’t come on my face if I’ve just done my hair up really nice. For actual intercourse, I’ll usually request we do it in positions where my hair doesn’t end up on the mattress, be that getting fucked from behind or with my head hanging off the edge of the bed. See? That excuse doesn’t work at all.

Posted in Thoughts and rants

Post op

These discharge papers say no sex for 4 days, but I’m not sure if that’s because I shouldn’t be penetrated or I shouldn’t have orgasms. Hmm… I’d call and ask but they’re closed on weekends. Such a conundrum.

All is well otherwise. I completely underestimated how painful it would be, though I still think I managed through it all right. The doctor said I did really well. Granted, her measurement for this was that I didn’t scream or curse at her (apparently that’s the norm.) I can comfortably say I’ve never felt anything worse in my life than that, but it was fairly fleeting so I suspect labor and being stabbed are far worse.

It probably says something about me though, that as all this was happening I realized that the sad whimpering noises I was making were incredibly sexual. Kind of reminded me of Ahri when she dies (or does anything, really.) I thought to myself that if a guy had been there, he might think it was hot despite it being anything but for me. You know, one of the things they use on you during the procedure is called a tenaculum? It looks like a pair of scissors crossed with a fork and salad tongs…

Anyway, I seem to be recovering all right. I’ll write about some more interesting things soon when I get a bit more energy back.

Posted in Marie's stories

February 8th

Three years ago I was prescribed a brand of birth control called Seasonale. Seasonale is basically just the pill, the only difference being that you take it for 84 days in a row instead of 21 like most oral contraceptives. The idea behind taking it so long is that it reduces the amount of periods a woman has in a year from 12 to 4. It’s marketed primarily as a way for women to adjust their periods to fit their lifestyles, rather than as a birth control method, but it’s still plenty effective at keeping you from getting knocked up.

The reason I was prescribed this particular brand of birth control is because I had been diagnosed with iron-deficiency anemia, an incredibly common form of anemia (especially in women) that comes from a deficiency of iron in the blood. Usually it’s the result of a lack of iron in the diet, though sometimes it’s because a person’s body doesn’t absorb iron as well as it should. In my case, the doctors suspected it was a little bit of both (the absorption issue is apparently common for people of my ethnicity, but I also wasn’t eating red meat at the time to save money.) I was prescribed Seasonale because the doctors thought reducing the amount of times a year I expel blood from my body (I’m aware that sounds awful) would help me recover from my anemia, and ward it off in the future.

Things were going okay until I started crying uncontrollably one night after my boyfriend asked why I was never in the mood to have sex anymore. Once I calmed down, I evaluated things and realized 1) I hadn’t been in the mood to fuck for weeks and 2) I was always incredibly moody and super sensitive to the slightest bit of criticism and negativity. I wondered if it might be because of the drugs, and decided to stop taking them. About a week later, I felt better and concluded that the birth control must have been to blame.

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Posted in Thoughts and rants

All this talk of cuckolding…

A long while back I linked an article about cuckolding on Twitter. I had stumbled upon it elsewhere in the Twitterverse and after finding it kind of geeky and kind of sexy, I thought I’d share it. I didn’t think too much about it after that until one of my followers (<3) linked me an article about the related topic of NTR (which is basically cuckolding in anime.) For some reason this second article got me quite fixated on the topic and I couldn’t get it out of my head for weeks on end.

Mind you, I wasn’t fixated on traditional cuckolding. I like cock far too much for such a scenario to have any appeal — I figure, why would any girl ignore a ready and willing cock when she had a prime opportunity to be double teamed instead? (Don’t forget, Eiffel Tower Fantasy.) See, what I was thinking about was actually a reversed cuckold where there are two girls and only one guy.

The idea had struck me in the middle of reading a comment on the NTR article and suddenly every prior confession rearranged itself with me being the poor soul left out to watch while a sexier, smarter, and more skilled seductress monopolized the only cock in the room. At that instant I suddenly realized why it was appealing to so many men… It was all a tease.  A twisted, agonizing tease that played off insecurity, perversion, and dipped a foot into some themes of dominance and submission. The whole thing made me think cuckolding, or a reversed cuckolding as it were, would have a bigger appeal with women than the traditional fetish does with men.
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Posted in Thoughts and rants